Introduction to Real on Reels

Why Real on Reels is Here
I used to read reviews of movies before I watched them, just to get a general sense of the movie and some would give too much away, some wouldn’t give enough away, and some were just about the cinematography, the acting, the directing, etc.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I find that a lot of people have huge, varying opinions on what movies are good and what movies are bad. For example, some people like to watch movies that are so bad that they’re good. I cannot watch these movies; they annoy me. A lot of men (yes, I’m being general and sexist right now) don’t like chick flicks and therefore the reviews are read as misogynistic and just plain rude. I love chick flicks; they make me feel warm inside and generally give me a brighter view on life, at least for the next couple of days. A lot of people like artsy movies that have no real plot but are beautiful. Most of these reviews, I find, are done by people who have gone to film school and they’re technical and boring and I don’t understand any of it.

I wanted to start a review site that was more than just a strict, direct “this is good, go see it” or “this is terrible, don’t watch it.” I wanted a discussion site, lead by one person, but it continued on in the comments.

And that’s why I started this.

How Real on Reels Works
There is no format, there is no structure. The authors will post whatever they want to post about a movie and you can comment in the comments. We don’t use proper grammar and spelling but none of us wants to read a comment where every word is misspelled and U tYp lYk DiS. If you disagree, do not attack the author; instead, why don’t you bring up what you liked and disliked about the movie, and a discussion can evolve from there. Lastly, there will be no discussion of politics, religion, pornography, or violence that is unrelated to the movie. If there’s a sex scene, sure, talk about how uncomfortable or aroused you got. But don’t recommend that we watch the XXX Twilight Parody. Let’s just all be civilized adults here.

To Start Using Real on Reels, You Can:

  • Use Search on the left hand side and look for a movie
  • Look under Categories for a genre and go from there
  • If you have a favourite author you can click on their link on the right hand side and see what kind of movies they like to watch
  • Check under Recent Posts for a movie review that was posted recently

As the sidebar says, and as the about page says, there are spoilers. I encourage only people who have seen the movies, or wouldn’t mind being spoiled, to read any further.

Zombieland – “Nut up or shut up!”

It took me forever to pick out the best movie for me to start off with here at RoR, and after I saw Zombieland, I knew I had found it.

For those who haven’t seen or heard of Zombieland, here’s the trailer, followed by a quick summary:

After the zombie outbreak, Columbus, a big, rule-following wuss, and Tallahassee, an AK-toting, zombie-slaying’ bad ass, join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem. They will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.

Zombieland - Poster Now, let’s get one thing seriously straight. I hate horror movies where the main goal is to try to scare your pants off. I honestly don’t see the point of it. I don’t like being scared and am therefore not going to watch a movie dedicated to this.

However, on the other hand, I’m really starting to love post-apocalyptic movies, like this one. Now, to be fair, I’ve only seen two: this one, and Carriers, which was just a depress-fest, albeit a really good one. I like both, in that they’re both movies where zombies have ‘taken over’ so to speak, and the main goal is to go somewhere that is ‘untouched’ by zombies.

When I had the urge to see this movie, I wanted something where zombies were killed and they were killed either violently or hilariously, and thank heavens, ZL had both. The piano kill, the entire supermarket scene, the Native American store, the amusement park. Just all kinds of wonderful. I’m a huge fan of action movies, and this definitely fulfilled my quota of killin’ for the day.

Zombieland - Tallahassee, Columbus, zombie

And then, there’s the writing. I really love laughing, and this movie had no shortage in that respect. Here are some memorable lines:

Tallahassee: I’m not great at farewells, so uh… that’ll do, pig.
Columbus: That’s the worst goodbye I’ve ever heard. And you stole it from a movie.

Columbus: You’re like a giant… cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.

Little Rock: Who’s Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: I’ve never hit a kid before. I mean, that’s like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who’s Gandhi?

Columbus: Let me begin my three-part apology by saying that you’re a wonderful human being.

Zombieland - Columbus, Wichita, Little Rock, Tallahassee

Now, for everything else. The plot was simple and believable, the acting was great, and the zombies? Really great make-up. All the characters were amazing, but I am frankly in love with Tallahassee. That BAMF can kill my zombies any day. I heard there’s gonna be a sequel which I hate because this one was just so perfect, but yes, I’m totally and completely down for that. Bring it on, zombies.